How to raise a daughter
Recently I heard one unpleasant story that caused me a storm of emotions. when daughter One of my friends appeared in the school cafeteria, the other girls from her class showed off demonstratively.
Of course, they had reasons for such unanimousboycott. Because a nice seventh grader was invited to dance by a guy from the eighth grade - and, oh gods! - she agreed. After this friend refused to communicate with her in any way and began to mock the poor thing. Unfortunately, such situations in childhood and adolescence are not uncommon. This is the reality of any school.
But I was outraged not so much by the naughty behavior of this girl's classmates, how many Adult response To such an event. Mother of the hunted schoolgirl called the parents of other children and explained what had happened. In response, she heard: "Oh, it's okay, it's children. Nothing serious really happened. You take the situation to heart ... "
I'm sorry, what? I refuse to believe that this is normal.
Of course, it's hard to imagine that your child is not as good as you used to think about him. But are you so blinded Parental love, That you can forgive this behavior of your daughter? Do you think that there is nothing terrible in her ability to brutally hurt and humiliate another person? I was in shock.
Sometimes I'm very worried about my three daughters. They are very smart girls, kind and flexible. But, as is known, women are controlled by emotions, and this can be seen already from a small age. In a moment of excitement, anger, fear, can the daughter make the right choice, what should she do? Will the good distinguish between the bad?
Periodically children do Mistakes, And this is understandable: They lack experience and understanding of different situations. But if the child does something bad, obviously disgusting things, do it on purpose - you can not miss it by sensitive parental attention. If you do not take measures and do not stop this behavior right away, the child will commit such an act many more times, again and again!
Modern parents - Masters justify Any behavior of their children, because so theyJustify themselves, their lack of time and energy for proper upbringing. Imagine that this nasty story happened to your daughter. Ask yourself - did you want or would I like to hear such excuses in return?
5 Parental Excuses
- Girls should be girls.
So what? Can this justify everything? As a mother, as a parent and a full member of the society, are you really not tired of the fact that everything is written off for women's weaknesses, that women are such and can not be helped. These are the vestiges of the patriarchal system. First of all, we are people, and your daughter should be a good person! Help her to become like that.
- Everything was wrong - my girl has nothing to do with it, it's the work of her friends.
Of course, it's easier to blame others. An innocent witness - this is the position of the parent. Only there is a moment, very important: sometimes inaction is just as terrible as a crime.
- Probably, your daughter is not too interested in communicating with my child. So he does not want to talk to her.
This is a classic defense - the parent immediately blames another, someone else's child. This is not my daughter, it's yours. It's not I who brought up my own, but you.
- My daughter said that everything was completely different.
Usually such an excuse is dismissed from the problem. Is it really so difficult to spend a little of your time analyzing wrong things? After all to go on mugs, sports competitions, to have a good time - time suffices!
- It's not my daughter's fault that yours is so sensitive!
Transfer a little responsibility to your daughter -Not as difficult as it seems. In any situation, two people always take part. Something here is not so, if only the victim of circumstances is guilty.
My friend's daughter was lucky with her mother. she got Psychological support. Fortunately, she had other friends who did not turn away from the girl. But not all stories end so well - sometimes the trauma inflicted on the child by peers breaks his whole life ...
Let's not justify our daughters! Instead of hampering the justifications for their emergence as individuals, we will raise the bar higher. Let them grow up to be kind, sympathetic, just people.
It all starts with one Brave parent. It is only necessary to begin - and the rest will also catch up! Solve the situation honestly.
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