How to save a marriage
There is nothing sadder Divorce - an injury that can not be managed withoutDamage. People who are experiencing this incredibly difficult test are undermined by health - both physical and mental. Alas, divorce is already in the order of things. That's why now there are a lot of single mothers and men gradually dropping onto the social bottom.
Before you is the letter of a woman who already wanted to divorce, but then changed her mind. Read it thoughtfully, and you will find out what happened. Maybe these words will help you Establish relations With a man whom you are already ready to send to the country called "the past."
Story about saving a marriage
I delayed this moment to the last, but herethis day came. The day my husband went to work, and I collected my things, took my two-year-old son and we left home to my parents. My mother met me and said that she and her father will not leave me and help in everything.
«But before you finally leave your husband, -Said my mother, "fulfill one of my requests." She put a sheet of paper in front of me, held a vertical line in the middle and asked me in the first column to make a list of things that annoy me in the bill so much that it's impossible to live with. I decided that she would ask me in the second column to write a list of his positive qualities, and certainly knew that it would be much shorter.
In general, I knew what to write in the first column:
Bill always throws his things.
Never tells where he went.
At the table noisily blowing his nose and behaving indecently.
Never makes me good gifts.
He is sloppy and stingy in money.
Never helps around the house.
Always silent and does not communicate with me ...
This list lasted a long time, and the place on the page was over. Now I had incontrovertible evidence that no woman would live with such a monster.
With a smile of a smile I said to my mother: "In another column, you must describe his positive qualities, yes?" But my mother replied that she already knows his strengths. And asked me to describe my reaction to each of his shortcomings. Opposite each item - what I did in response to such behavior.
It was already more difficult, I did not expect that it would be about me. But I knew that my mother would not leave me behind until I completed this part of the assignment. So I started writing.
What did I do in response?
She cried and cried.
I was ashamed to be with him.
I built myself a martyr.
I would like to marry someone else.
I thought that I deserved more.
And, in general, he is not worthy of me.
And this list was also endless. Then my mother took a sheet of paper and cut it in half straight on this line. She took the part with a list of the shortcomings of the bill, tore it up and threw it into the trash can, and I was handed a piece with a list about me, saying: "Here, take this list home and think about it today. Let the child stay with us. And then come, and if you are determined to leave the bill, Dad and I will help you in everything. "
I returned home and looked at my list. Without the first part with shortcomings of the bill, he looked terrible. I saw a reflection of my terrible behavior and destructive actions and only then I realized how stupid I behaved all this time. Then I thought about the qualities that irritated me in my husband. And realized that there was absolutely nothing terrible and unforgivable about it.
I was so angry that I did not even notice how lucky I was with my husband - it was a good, not perfect, but a good person. We are all not perfect! This formula should be repeated to children from a small age. Each of us has a number of shortcomings, and we must learn to accept it.
I returned to my parents. It's amazing how different I now felt about the situation. Now I felt peace and gratitude. Five years ago, I promised to be with my husband in sickness and health - and I was horrified at how abruptly I was ready to change my life and almost left my child without a father just because of the little things and minute annoyance. And when the bill came from work, my son and I were already waiting for him.
And I would like to say that the bill has changed. But no, he has not changed. He still did everything that irritated me so much. But I changed my attitude to his actions. And to this day I am grateful to my mother, who by her wise advice saved our marriage.
When the bill was 49 years old, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, he had to leave the teacher's job and I took care of my beloved husband.
And when my son asked: "Mom, what will we do when the pope can not remember us?" I replied: "We will remember him, remember his beloved father and husband and remember everything he taught us and how he loved us."
I had to change myself - and everything changed.
Becky Zerb was married to a 29-year-old bill.
This candid woman's letter is incredibly touching. You need to have a great inner strength to tell your story so openly. her Wise thoughts Find a response in our hearts, does not it?
Share with your family this article. Let such tragedies as divorce, will be less in our lives!