What you can not tell a child
Who can boast that he reallyGood dad or mom? Placing a hand on the heart, few people will say about themselves that. We are all human and each of us has certain weaknesses. For example, many will choose to scold a child, and not try to understand him. Because it's much easier.
But there is another way. Let it be more difficult, but it brings better results. if to raise a child Own example and talk with him as an adult, respecting his personality, you will grow your pride! Such a child will be independent and optimistic from a young age.
Any parent knows these phrases. In a temper, in anger and frustration, it happens that we strongly offend children, without understanding it ourselves. This infringes the development of a full-fledged, healthy Personality. Be conscious! Watch what you say, because words carry a lot of meaningful information to a new person, which he immediately reads and memorizes. Even a very tiny baby will understand what exactly you mean - by intonation.
Try to choose the right words and how you say them. But these, below the above formulations, in no case should be voiced to children. why? Read it, and you will understand everything ...
Forbidden phrases for parents
- You can not do anything - let me do it!
Psychologists claim that this phrase traumatizesAnd pre-programmed to fail. He feels stupid and awkward, in the future afraid to show initiative, thinking that my mother will again scream.
- Take it, just calm down!
It is hard for some parents to endure for many hoursMournful "please, well, give me". But, agreeing to give the baby what he asks, you let the child know: whining and persuading you can achieve everything, and Mom "no" should not be taken seriously. It will provide you with a boorish child, full of selfishness.
- I'll see it again - you'll get it from me!
As practice has shown, further threats are notReach. Neither mother nor father will carry out punishment, and the child will only be frightened. This phrase in children causes only resentment and bewilderment. Do not scare your little one. The child must know exactly what to expect in a particular case. And sudden disruptions of parents will lead to nothing good.
- I said (a): "Stop it immediately!"
Do not talk so harshly with the baby! It's your baby! If you fell, better to apologize. The child is offended, feeling completely disenfranchised.
And instead of "stopping" beginsProtest, babies cry and are capricious, teenagers silently leave and become isolated in themselves. In general, whatever one may say, but this phrase does not help to achieve the desired.
- You should understand that ...
Many children have a protective reaction to thisPhrase and its boring sequel. The kid does not understand morality and, not listening to you, switches to something else. The worst lessons are perceived by the child when he is agitated, upset or angry.
Remember, he is also a person who has some kind of "problem", and at the moment he is concerned about it. In this state he is incapable of understanding even the most sensible and correct reasoning.
- Boys (girls) do not behave this way!
Constantly repeating this, parents instilledChild certain stereotypes. In adult life, a grown-up boy will perceive his own emotionality as something unworthy, and the girl - to test complexes about the "unfair" profession or not enough cleaned apartment.
- Do not get upset about the nonsense!
Perhaps for a kid this is not nonsense! Remember yourself as a child. Yes, a child can be upset that they did not give him a car or the house of cubes crumbled. Because in his small world it is the car and the house - the most important!
Showing disregard for the child's problems, you risk losing his trust and not knowing in the future about other, not trivial problems of your baby.
- Take care of my health!
Quite often some mothers say this to babies. But understand, sooner or later, all this ceases to be taken seriously, as in a fairy tale about a shepherd and wolves. And the child's really bad state of health can not pay attention due to habit. He will think that his mother complains, if only he stopped making noise, jumping, playing and all that. You can not abuse such expressions!
- No, we will not buy it - there is no money (expensive)!
It's hard to explain to the baby why it's not worth buying everything. But it turns out that if your mom or dad will have money - you can buy in the store, which will fall under your arm! The kid understands this phrase exactly.
Is it not better to say, Mom and Dad: "You already have such a toy," "chocolate is much harmful." Yes, it's always difficult to explain! But the child should understand why his parents do not buy it.
- At all children, as children, and you ...
... punishment, slob, sloppiness, etc. Do not hang such labels on children! It destroys self-esteem, and the child really begins to correspond to such words. Think, would you like to hear such a thing?
"I give my heart to children" - the slogan of a famous teacherSukhomlinsky, which we all need to remember from time to time. It is impossible to educate a small person well without investing in this soul. Do and say everything that concerns Child, With love - and this will be rewarded to you a hundredfold.
Be sure to share this article with other parents! Adults also need education and good advice.