9 Threats to a Happy Marriage
People who want to build a family areA very brave step. They will face many different difficulties. Alas, not only those that are related to the material world. Everything that can be bought for money is already cheap, if there are problems with the financial situation of the family, they can be overcome. It is more terrible when mutual understanding disappears from the union of two loving people. This happens when the couple can not communicate.
Communication in the family Often unhealthy. What happens is easy to see on the example of a playful child, who was put out of the gates of a playground. The teacher heard a noise, and, not figuring out who was to blame, drove him out. Although the child was not the cause of the disorder, he just reacted to the conflict so that it became noticeable.
And in a married life - when there are problems, we often accuse them of a partner, we hang on to him for what we do not like. Much better understand the situation, understand that Conflict with a loved one - this is the tip of the iceberg. What hurts us is deeper.
How to save a marriage
- people change
We marry people we like. Here's an unexpected discovery: people change, it happens all the time. You need to be prepared for this. If a close person has changed in something, there is nothing surprising, you also change.
The secret is not to cling to persistence andFreeze in one condition, not allowing the partner to change. It is necessary to do this together, to develop and grow at the same time, so that the changes are harmonious and only in a good way. Love is created to make people better, do not forget about it.
- Loneliness can not be saved
Every person has a fear of being left alone,But it is completely meaningless. We are all alone. One man comes into this world and leaves alone. Marriage is not an escape from loneliness, to remain alive, a person must be independent, independent. The family is created so that two people can share their experience of their loneliness and create moments when it will dissipate for a while.
- Children's complexes
Everything that bothers you is inside you. Another person does not make you feel ashamed, does not aggravate your complexes. You do it yourself. Since childhood, we all have certain psychological problems, and if your partner promotes their manifestation, it is not his fault. Instead of being angry with your spouse, do something more constructive.
Learn to understand yourself, understand what hurts you, what makes you experience negative emotions. then Communication with the other half Will not be overshadowed by accusations of your personal troubles and sorrows.
Each of us has his own ego, it has arisen yetAt an early age, when the child encountered a hostile world. To protect himself, he built an impenetrable wall around himself. In difficult situations, the ego saved you, but in the family this wall is superfluous.
Marriage is a wonderful environment to finally get to know yourself,Get out of the captivity of your own ego. This can be done by practicing openness instead of security, forgiveness instead of revenge, apology instead of the need to blame. If two understand this, it turns out Strong alliance.
- Troubles happen
Life is full of mud, trouble, unexpectedTurns. Marriage is also a part of life, and he is not immune from this. When there are troubles, we begin to load all this load onto the partner, forgetting that everything does not go smoothly in life.
The accusations only aggravate the situation. Instead of poking a finger at another, take these problems as common. If you do not look for the guilty, you can go through all the life's difficulties together, and so much easier.
- Empathy is difficult
Empathy is the ability to feel experiencesanother man. By its nature, empathy is a complex phenomenon and can not occur with two people at the same time. Someone must always meet, understand the partner. And there is no guarantee that you will be understood in return, it is an unselfish victim. Because we are afraid to do so - selfishness and fear hinders us. This confrontation exhausts, sympathizing and understanding, you will, as it were, admit defeat.
Instead, it is better to get rid of yourSelfish ambitions. Empathy is a positive state, if it is available to you, you are a good person. Even if the partner does not appreciate this, understand and feel the feelings of the other is worth it.
- Children are important, but the partner is also important
We often think more about children than aboutMan, through which they were born. Children should not be more important than a partner, it is harmful primarily for them - you risk growing up complete egoists. All components are important in the family, they must be on the same level. Only so harmonious relations are possible.
Partners often turn their lives intopower. Women usually want more, men - less, sometimes these roles change. Who decides how close your relationship will be? Who should control whom? People are in constant search of answers to these questions, but this is a waste of energy. Achieving balance is a process, the whole family life will be subordinated to it. Just accept it.
How many interesting things around! How many people will seem more interesting to you than your other half. It's strange to realize this, but in fact, if the wife and mistress changed roles, nothing would have changed - you would still be drawn to a person on the side, you would be attracted to the woman who is not around. Women have the same story. Why is this happening? Everything new enchants, attracts.
The secret of a happy family life Is to direct your interest inThe person who is already there. He is here, and he is very interesting - you fell in love with him that way. As in meditation, you can be distracted by extraneous objects, but then again and again return to your true state.
If you learn to do this, you will be able to observeFor the beauty of the world, for interesting people, to interact with them, but at the same time remembering how valuable your partner is. Thanks to this you can stay together.
How beautiful are the people who accept themselves,Who are able to compromise, who choose forgiveness instead of revenge. The family gives you a chance to learn all this, stop being an egoist, see something more, do not just focus on your desires. This is the moment when you can grow spiritually.
Except that you will become an order of magnitude better, thanks to the family, so you will save love and Harmonious relations. Maybe it's worth trying to behave differently than your ego says? You might like it ...
There is nothing more touching and present than a harmonious family. This is what any person aspires to by nature. Tell your friends about this article, help them become better.