7 main mistakes in relations
How wonderful, when people find each other, live together and die from the endless Of love one day. In fairy tales - yes. But in fact you live in a reality in which, unlike the pages of bright books, not everything is so smooth ...
In fairy tales for some reason do not remember that in order to Keep the relationship And, moreover, to build a strong family, you need ohHow to try. Yes, yes, even here there is a golden rule about the fact that you can not easily pull out the fish from the pond. And efforts must be made not to drown in fits of rage, old grievances, scenes of jealousy, endless quarrels and scandals.
So we picked up the top 7 mistakes that lovers allow and which, in one way or another, eventually lead to Rupture. Do you recognize yourself in them? Then this is the first sign to sound an alarm.
How to keep the relationship
- Stop checking.
This is the first and, perhaps, the main rule! Mistrust kills relationships faster than anything else. Remember forever: do not read your friend's email. Do not check the sms in your boyfriend's phone. Do not try to hack his page in social networks. Enough to view what's in his favorites in instagram. And stop digging in your favorite handbag.
Remember the golden rule of childhood: Not yours - do not touch! Distrust generates mistrust. If you are in a relationship, trust the person who is with you. How much you can suspect the other half in all mortal sins, because "your ex did so."
Stop looking after your lover. This is, first, harmful to health, and secondly, it will only spoil everything.
- Enough to be jealous.
You are jealous of your betrothed every time heGoing to a beer with friends, for lunch with a colleague or just to meet an old friend? Consider some vivid examples. Say, the boss invited your boyfriend to an important meeting in the evening. Do you think he will risk starting to explain to you where he goes so late, knowing that it will only cause another "scene"? no!
But what if you are already beginning to find out the relationshipWith his girlfriend, when she only greeted the former classmate. Do you think she will trust you in the future? no! Keep calm. If you can not do anything with jealousy, try the following: talk to your partner, what exactly are you jealous of, and try to find the reason. You will be surprised at how timely conversations help in the relationship.
- Be careful with the arguments in the dispute.
You both know the secrets and weaknesses of each other,like no one else. But in anger it's almost impossible to control yourself, so often you rush into words, touching the partner's most vulnerable spots. And then you regret this for a long time. Try to understand this question. Try to understand each other - fight this problem together. And never, never dare to use other people's vulnerabilities as weapons in times of conflict.
- Stop remembering old grievances and wounds.
Think that remembering offensive words thatYou dropped each other during the quarrel three months ago, will help solve the problem today? And in vain. Trying to educate a guy, reminding him how late he was that year for your dad's birthday? Unlikely to come out.
Remember: the list of old grievances is the first danger for a relationship that acts like a time bomb. Let go of the past, do not let the old grievances come to the surface.
- Do not succumb to emotions!
Never give in to emotions - in the end youYou will become their hostage, threatening your second half with a divorce or, worse, by murder or suicide. Do not beat demonstratively dishes in a fit of anger, do not throw his things out the window, do not tell all the common acquaintances with which "monster" you live. All this will certainly lead to a rupture of relations, and even kill the nerve cells. it's worth it?
- Do not take out all the "trash" from the hut.
How often do people try to translate into personalPublic. Do you quarrel with your lover? Not necessarily because of this update snot status in social networks that love is pain, your heart is forever broken, life is unfair and why this all happens only with you. Everyone knows who you dedicate it to. If you have a claim to a particular person, tell him this in person.
Do not lay out your "dirty laundry" on the Internet - it's there and so a dime a dozen. Tell a person what you feel, directly in the eyes.
- Stop thinking that the other person is all you need in life.
Yes, of course, beautiful, poetic and romantic,When in songs you hear something in the manner of "you are everything that I have", "I do not live without you", "all that I need is just you" and so on. But this is completely wrong. You have no right to say that your happiness depends on another person: it is a huge burden on him.
You can have different interests with your boyfriend,You do not need to love everything together. Not necessarily you and do all things together. It's even abnormal. Be a full-fledged person, regardless of words, views, interests of the second half: this is exactly what he once fell in love with.
It goes without saying that all these tips are not A panacea for all quarrels and conflicts in a relationship. Nevertheless, stopping repeating the same mistakes, you can save what is really expensive.
Psychologists argue that if a person doesSomething for 21 consecutive days, it starts to become a habit. Try to apply these rules in practice, and you will see that your relationship will move to a new level.
Let the experimental three weeks begin for you today!