8 injuries that prevent living
A person is much more influenced than thisI would like to acknowledge. Every detail in the environment, any event in one way or another leaves its mark in us. In the first 7 years is the most active phase Human formation And his personality, so many things have a huge impact on young children, forming in them some of the ideas about life, which in the future can be very difficult to change.
During this period the most important people for the childAre his parents. Kids often subconsciously read their behavior patterns and attitudes toward themselves. Therefore, it is not uncommon for children to repeat the fate of their parents or behave in the same way as they do.
Unfortunately, Soviet model of education Was not the best option for children. Many babies of previous generations lived in dysfunctional families or have one or more psychological traumas.
Trauma of the past Have a significant impact on your life. In another way it can not be. So the only correct way out is to admit to yourself that they are and that they are influencing you, and start taking steps towards a new life free from the old negativity.
So, what could your parents or closest associates inspire from an early age?
- "Do not be yourself"
The nearest environment inspires the child that forTo be loved, he needs to be what he wants to be, not himself. A person with such an attitude is often unhappy with his life and lives in a state of constant internal conflict - he wants to do what he wants, but then he will be painfully ashamed of his parent who gave the opposite attitude.
This feeling of guilt remains even when the parentsNo longer play such a significant role in human life. Their image constantly continues to live in it and has a huge impact on all actions and decisions that this person takes.
- "Do not live"
This setting appears when the childTalk about how difficult it is with him, how much he needs to tinker with, that after his appearance everything went wrong, that he upsets everyone and from him some problems. A small person comes to the conclusion that it would be easier for his parents if he did not exist and begins to behave appropriately - quietly, imperceptibly, trying not to get caught and to occupy as little space as possible (often such children are small and thin) .
Also kids with a similar installation canDo not always deliberately try to "destroy" yourself - get very sick or fall and break something. In adult life, their destructive tendencies towards themselves can take the form of drug addiction, alcoholism, craving for extreme sports.
- "Do not trust yourself"
Parents inspire theirConfidence that they know best what is good and right for their child. Such behavior they make him trust someone else's opinion more than his own. It is easy to imagine what kind of people grow up from such children - dependent, dependent.
- "Do not be a child"
Such installation from parents can receiveA child who is often reproached and punished for his childish behavior - he is forbidden to laugh loudly, run, make noise, fool around, have fun, calling him to the mind with the phrase: "Do you behave like a little boy?". Thus, the child develops an understanding that being small is bad and adults are good.
When such a child grows up, he does not know how to rest and relax. And if he indulges his little weaknesses, then long after that he feels guilty.
- "Do not feel"
It can be a ban on some negativeFeelings, censure and ridicule of childish anger, resentment, fear. In adult life, a person may not notice and do not recognize the presence of these feelings, which creates him additional problems and difficulties in dealing with other people.
- "Be the best" or "do not achieve success"
Two polar suggestions. In the case of the first - parents really want the child to be successful and justify their expectations. So he is constantly told that it makes sense to do everything only in the best possible way. Growing up, such a person believes in the fact that you can be happy, only being successful at 100%.
In the second case, the parents tell the child that he is a loser and he still does not get it. With such an installation for an adult, it is very difficult to achieve any achievement.
- "No one can be trusted"
The world is presented to the child as dangerous andA hostile place where everyone is just waiting to betray him and deceive him. Parents set up a small person against everything around him, urging them to believe only. In adulthood, such a child will have problems with confidence in others.
- Do not do it
Trying to take care of their child, the parents thenThe case is repeated so that he does not climb anywhere, does not touch anything, that it is dangerous, and there you can fall. Growing up, such children feel fear and uncertainty before the beginning of each case, they do not know how to make independent decisions.
These are not the only possible options for directives,Which we receive in childhood and who then direct our lives when we are already growing up. To recognize such attitudes in oneself is the first step towards a better and fuller life.
All possible directives are very difficult to identify andNot easily corrected. Your consciousness will block attempts to correct something, and the subconscious mind - be afraid of change and do everything to avoid them. But with some effort, and also with the help of competent assistance from the outside, it is possible and necessary to get rid of such suggestions and Change one's life for the better.