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How to develop emotional intelligence

At school we were taught stories, geography, mathematicsAnd other subjects. But very few people paid attention to the inner world, namely, how to correctly identify emotions and cope with them. And this is no less important than science.

American researcher Daniel Goleman determined that success depends on skill Manage your emotions To a much greater extent than from the mental faculties.

For example, there are many entrepreneurs who have gathered and organized people around themselves, many times smarter than themselves. Here it is Emotional intelligence - the ability to realize their feelings and emotions, use them and manage them with benefit for themselves.


There is no scale that allows you to measureEmotional intelligence of a person, but there are separate characteristics by which the personality can be evaluated. From these components and develops emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence

  1. Self-awareness
    Self-awareness includes understanding your ownFeelings. It is important to pay attention to how you build your thoughts, what you feel. This involves having an accurate assessment of what you are capable of and when you need help.
  2. self management
    It's the ability to keep your emotions under control. While a person can calmly discuss the differences and avoid actions that may arise out of a feeling of pity or panic.
  3. motivation
    A person should be motivated not only by a monetary reward. He must do something in order to have fun, satisfy curiosity, or simply be useful.
  4. Empathy
    It is important to be able to read and understand the emotions of other people and react to them correctly.
  5. Social skills
    There are certain rules by whichEmotions are born. For example, understanding the reason for which the interlocutor is now irritated, will at first be reassured, and then get what you wanted from him.

    Social skills will help you be persuasive, find a common language with others and manage them in the work environment.

How to develop emotional intelligence

  1. Keep a diary
    At the end of each day, write down what happened to you, how you felt and how you managed it. Periodically look through the diary and draw conclusions.
  2. Ask the others
    Ask close people questions about their strengths and weaknesses. Write down everything they said, compare with your perception and look for patterns.
  3. Pause
    Before you react to something, take a break. You will have two or three seconds to think about whether you are doing the right thing. That's why it's always easier to communicate on the Internet.
  4. Direct emotions in the right direction
    For example, if you do not get something, you are angry. Direct this anger to achieve the result and do not put your hands down in any case.
  5. Determine what you really want from life
    Do not pay attention to the generally accepted model of a successful person in society. Think about what you want.
  6. Choose a person with whom you can consult in difficult situations This person will support and will not allow you to be lazy and feel sorry for yourself.
  7. flexibility
    During a conflict, be interested in the point of viewThe other side. If you remain locked up in the cage of your own opinion, without letting anything in, you will not leave room for compromise.

The ability to control emotions is sometimes more important than using the mind. Develop your emotional intelligence, and you will see how you will start to succeed in life.

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