Tips for parents
Sometimes we want to scream at children. Usually this impulse comes in moments of emotional outbursts, disappointment or hysteria. While most of us understand that screaming and punishing will not lead to anything good.
They reduce Child trust To us and, worse, harm his self-esteem. In the long run, this leads to even greater problems with behavior.
Instead, in the process of education isTo create rational boundaries for children and to sympathize with them, because the way of knowing everything new is very difficult. Then they will grow up confident and emotionally healthy adults. In addition, it will simplify your parental task.
With the help of this article, you can raise children without screaming and punishing. You will learn what parents need to do in order to control their own negative emotions.
Tips for parents
- Take care of yourself and treat yourself well
The more you take care of yourself, the moreSatisfaction you receive, and with it and additional energy. If you are tired, then it will be much more difficult to control yourself, which means that at any moment you can break.
So start to give time each dayExclusively on themselves. In addition, it is worth to do meditation, yoga or physical education. Try to talk to yourself periodically as you talk to the child. Do not use criticism in your voice.
At first it will seem strange, but in time you will get used to it and you will not notice how you will start using the same intonations in communication with the child.
- Respect your borders
You can lose balance if the child often goes beyond the limits of the permissible. But remember that most often you are to blame for this.
I understand that sometimes you do not say "no" toPrevent hysteria or just stay "good." Remember that creating reasonable boundaries is your job. To love a child does not mean to give him all the time that he asks. Adhering to this principle, you will prevent many more hysterics.
- Remember that this is a child
When you take your child with you to a public place, you should not expect that he will behave like an adult. He can not, for example, sit quietly for an hour in a restaurant.
Leaving with the child on the street, remember that heConstantly gets a new life experience. So forget about such a feeling as shame. When you discard your unrealistic expectations, then you will begin to enjoy the child's upbringing.
- Control your fears
As soon as you start worrying about the badThe child's behavior, he feels it and follows the path to which you direct it. If you constantly tell him that he is bad, he will become like this.
- Fight with your past
Children can evoke experiences from your own childhood. Do not project your past onto the child. Just give him the love and understanding that are so necessary.
- Create an anchor
Create yourself a certain physical stimulus at the moment of greatest peace and relaxation. For example, connect the thumb and middle fingers.
So you will get some kind of "anchor". When you want to scream at the child, put your fingers together, you will remember the good, the "anchor" will pull you to positive emotions, and you will calm down.
- Get rid of guilt
Guilt and shame are the lowest emotions thatCan experience a person. Somewhere on the other side are love and compassion. If it seems to you that you do not do enough for the child, then, most likely, you are in vain yourself cheating.
Drive these thoughts away. Remember that at every moment of education, you, as a normal parent, do the maximum for your child.
- Make sure you spend enough time with your child
Attention is one of the main children's needs. Sometimes emotional outbursts of the child are the result of a lack of attention. You gave him too much freedom.
He wants to feel your love in the form of your limitations and directions. So at certain times it is necessary to devote yourself completely to the child. He does not need you to be around all the time.
Let you spend not so much time together, but in these moments you should not be distracted by anything else.
- Give your child free time
After the need for love and attention will be realized, the child will need time for an independent study of the world. He must develop, recognize his body and the objects surrounding him.
The older the child, the greater distance you must be. For the small, of course, you need to watch, but make sure that you do not interfere without extreme need.
- The child must feel that he is understood
Understanding is very important for the child. You should not indulge all his whims, but it does not relieve you of the responsibility to understand his feelings.
«I understand that you liked to paint your face, and I see that you're angry because I took away the paints" or "I know that you want to eat chocolate all day. I would like that too.
But now you need to eat some vegetables to maintain our health". The child can resist a little more, but still he saw that you understand him. In most cases this will reduce his emotional outburst.
- Pre-warn the child of a change in activity
Some children are emotionally reacting to harshChanges. They need to give time for them to adapt. For example, warn the child several times, that soon it will be necessary to go to sleep. For 10, 5 and 1 minute.
- Respect the child as a person
Perhaps your child lives in a small body, still does not know much and needs constant help. But he is already a separate person, and this must be respected.
Try to talk to him as an adult, do not raise your voice. In relation to yourself, use the word "I" instead of "Mom" or "Dad".
- Show respect for the body of your child
Always tell your child if you want to take it in your arms or just touch it. You can start from the earliest years: "I'll pick you up now.
one two Three…"During games, show respect if the child says" no "and wants to stop. He must understand that you respect his choice.
- Ask for help
If you feel tired, then do not be ashamed to admit it. Tell your second half, or the nanny, or the grandparents of the child, that you need to rest.
Remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. For this we need unprecedented courage.
We hope that these tips will help to save nerves for you and your baby. We want to receive only pleasure from Parental responsibilities. If you have friends who will find this material interesting, then be sure to tell them about it.