How to react to rudeness
The biblical legend says that its origin Boorishness Takes from the third son Noah - boor. One day the young man saw his father sleeping without clothes, and, instead of covering his nakedness, at the same time told about what he had seen his brothers. Such an action testified not only about contempt of his parent, but also violated the customs of that time ...
The payment was brutal: One of the sons of khama - Canaan - was enslaved. Between this story and the rudeness of the saleswoman in the store there is nothing in common? Unfortunately, this is not so, because rudeness in its essence is nothing like Lack of respect Not only to others, but to yourself.
How to avoid conflict
- Try to understand whoever is rude to you
At first glance it seems that it is very difficult. But if you find out about the reasons that pushed the person so low to sink and insult the other, it allows at least Do not take rudeness to heart. As it is sung in a famous children's song: "The dog is biting only from the life of a dog". Remember, rude from lack of self-esteem and if desired to assert itself.
- Keep distance
often repartee Comes to mind late - when the boor is alreadySafely disappeared from the field of view. Agree, it often suffers from self-esteem, but remember that speaking rudeness, boor does not think to enter into dialogue with you. And do not be afraid and do not show the rancor your fear in any way.
- Act unexpectedly
If you wanted to blame the boor for his impermissible behavior, think about why you need it. Agree, it is highly doubtful that an outsider will say a phrase like "I thank you for paying attention to my rudeness and tactlessness. I promise you will not see that I behave in this way".
Best of all try to gently, but persistently explain that the boor has no right to treat you like this. eg: "I see that you are unhappy with my behavior (act), I'm sorry". You can also use the manipulative phrase: "I can help you somehow?"Using these techniques, you will show your strength and at the same time you will not drop to tactlessness.
Phrases to avoid conflict
- "On what basis do you ask me these questions?"
So you show that the aggressor is notHas the right to interfere in your personal life. No matter what his high position, you point to a discrepancy between the real status of the rude and the role he has chosen for himself.
- "Is this statement?", "Is this an indication?", "Is this a question?"
Use these phrases in the event that you feel that you are hurt for a living, but do not understand what exactly you do not agree with.
- "What makes you tell me this?", "What made you say this to me (do)?"
Using this technique, you show the aggressor that he has become a hostage of his own passions and emotions. By the way, it helps trouble-free.
- "Do not raise my voice to me," "do not speak with me that tone," "please do not speak about me in the third person, if I'm with you in the same room."
Put on the place of the offender with phrases that can be represented with the help of hearing or sight. If you say something abstract, like: "I beg you to stop being boorish", Then the abuser can miss it by the ears, because what he does not see and does not hear, can be considered your subjective opinion.
- "How can I improve the situation so that you no longer want to be rude to me?", "Tell me what to do, so that you will not be so rude to me?"
Remember that a conflict arises where Lacks mutual understanding. It is only necessary to establish relations, as rudeness disappears by itself.
Unfortunately, in our day rudeness has become the norm, andNot an exception to the rules. Everywhere: in transport, in shops, at work and even in their own family, people ruffle each other, tear off anger, say unpleasant jokes or very much Offensive words.
Tell your friends how to behave with the aggressor. Unfortunately from rudeness no one is immune.